No, that’s not it. I told you to pin it, didn’t I? And yet… anyway, leave it! When was the last time you took it? No, no, that doesn’t sound right. That sort of trickery isn’t going to work, not any more. Here, swallow it, this very instant. Come, let’s have a look. Yes, good. Well dilated. Oh, the batteries, I keep forgetting. Might as well change this old thing. Alright, now the other one. Turn this way. Right, well, it seems you’re… Who’s at the damned door at this hour? Wait, don’t do a thing. Yes, I’ll return in a moment.
Okay, where were we… Hey! What’s this now? I told you not to do anything. Leave that, I mean it. Walk straight back. I have to pin this back up again. Look here, this painting isn’t worth a thousand words, nor pennies. It may soon be as good as a thousand dreams, though, if not more. But for the time being, nothing more than a nonsensical piece of splatter. You need to understand it, no, not merely understand, but accept. Wholeheartedly accept it. That’s part of the whole process, nay, the process itself, as it were. Now don’t you touch it again. Unless you’d rather—Again with the knocking! Stay put, you.
That should put him off for a while. Well, would you look at that! Crawling now. So drunk with desperation you are. And towards what? That pathetic thing? Might rather just crawl your way into the pit before the work’s done. Let’s drag you back now. True, it’s gained a few pennies and lost a few lies, but that’s about all, for now. Right then, time for the next one. I’m afraid this is going to be even heavier. Open wide. Quick. We’re running out of time. Gulp it down now. That’s right. There you are. Now turn your gaze this way. Ugh, the light’s dimmed to a flicker. Anyway, this will have to do. Won’t be too long in any case. Let the tears gush out. It’s more than just a regurgitation of excess. These tears of yours form the precise glue that entwines you and your creation beyond mere aesthetics. Now, as I was saying, the next step in our—Oh, back yet again I see. I’m coming already! Listen, I’ll be right back, but until then, don’t… never mind, you can’t, not any more.
Now we absolutely must hasten. The clock is approaching the hour. Yes. Soon. Soon enough. Look at you, can’t walk, can barely even crawl now. Yet your eyes… your eyes. They do find their way, fixing themselves uncompromisingly on the wretched thing, as though they were the very wall on which it’s pinned. There is, I have to admit, a crude delicacy in the way you’ve used the brush to strike away every remnant of imperfection that stares back at you from your bedroom mirror. A scar here, a mole there. But the eyes, in particular. How candidly the portrait draws everything in, yet betrays not a trace of its subject’s rotten realism. You seem to have been most painstakingly particular about them, right down to the last, subtle stroke.
Look, it’s time! You hear the banging? Yes! I hear you loud and clear. Almost done. Any minute now. Here. Shove it down! All of it. Where’s the… forget it, the batteries must have died already. Right, the matchbox. One stick left. Focus here. Focus! Your paleness virtually shimmers under the flame… lends a tinge of vitality to your still starving magnum opus. Let’s get a closer peek. Be still. Don’t blink! Just a bit closer now… a bit more… Stop fretting. A mere eyelash. Keep the eyes wide open. Perfect.
He’s breaking in now! Listen. Footsteps. Louder and louder. Pulse? Fainter. Fainter…
He’s arrived! Come. Come round to the front. Near the frame, side by side. Yes, there. Here, let’s tilt you up a bit. Do you see him standing? Can you? The deal is done! No specks. No spots. Moreover, the eyes of your dreams! Or rather, the YOU of your dreams, now in the flesh. Unblemished. Unbroken.
A tiny confession, though, before the light dies. A minor lapse. He has been successfully saved, so to speak, from all your so-called ‘defects’, save for just one—achromatopsia. Or simply, colour blindness. He does retain a passion for the brush—are you there? Oops. The flame’s out.
Ah, but dawn is breaking. Well, now, what are you staring at? Here’s a blank canvas. Get on, then! I have others to attend to. Pin it up once you are through. And most importantly, don’t skip any doses…